How to Lose All the Money in Your Trading Account in 10 Days (or Less!)

Do you want to know how to make all the money you just deposited into your trading account disappear quickly?

In 10 days or less?

Here’s a step-by-step guide:

Step 1: Buy a super expensive computer.

Don’t forget to buy at least SIX 27-inch Supreme Ultra HD monitors and mount them all on the awesome monitor stand so you can watch price charts along with CNBC, Bloomberg TV, Fox Business News, Reuters TV and Cheddar at the same time!

You need ALL of these things to trade successfully!

Don’t forget the luxurious ergonomic chair.

Once you buy them all, watch your trading account balance grow with profit! That gigantic electricity bill from all your gadgets will seem like a small thing.

Step 2: Focus on finding the perfect technical indicator.

Once you find this mystical technical indicator, it will be like installing an ATM in your kitchen.

Trade is BIG.

No, scratch that. Trade of Yuge.

All six of your computer monitors will glow brightly green thanks for all the positive points!

Step 3: If your technical indicator shows that the currency pair is oversold, buy it right away!

Always do what the indicator on the chart says.

Never doubt that. As never before.

It’s always right. As always.

It doesn’t matter if there’s an important news release or if the price action is telling you something else.

Your puny brain is not up to the mark.

Step 4: Ignore the current and future economic prospects of the world’s largest countries.

Who cares about global economics and geopolitics?

The economy of schmanomi. Zzzzz. It’s boorriiiiinggg!

All you have to do is stare at your charts all day until a winning trade magically appears.

Trading is really just a competition between you and the market. Whoever blinks first loses. So make sure you focus and look long and hard at your charts.

Who cares if your eyes start bleeding? Ignore it. Push through it. It’s just blood from the eyes.

Eventually, the profits will come. It really is that simple.

Step 5 Don’t forget to visit a bunch of forex trading forums and browse all the threads until you find the hottest trading tips.

If you can’t find any hot trading tips, private message complete strangers for trading tips and ask them to give you some.

The less you know about them, the better. So it’s more mysterious. And makes trading fun!

These tips are a gift and will make you incredibly rich in no time!

If you’re terribly lucky, you might even find people posting about their magical 137% win rate technical indicators or experts that you can download for free!

Step 6: Read what other traders are doing and be sure to follow them without question.

Following other traders is easy. You literally don’t need a brain to do this. So your weak brain needn’t worry.

Just blindly copy their trades.

According to their profiles, these people have been trading for much longer than you, so they should definitely know what they are doing. right?

Why am I even asking you a question? It requires thinking.

Just go ahead and start copying random trades already. The sooner you start, the sooner you can achieve the ideal lifestyle of a financial influencer.

Step 7: Skip creating a trading plan. If you see a good trade, just do it.

Can’t argue with Nike…even if their slogan is for athletes, not marketers. Just do it. Victory is yours.

Forget about developing a trading plan. Don’t worry about how and when you’re going to get out.

Ignore the details. Trade is guaranteed to win. It will be a slam dunk.

Step 8: Dream about how much you’ll make, not how much you’ll lose. Don’t worry about getting the position size right.

Who cares how much you can lose on a trade? And how much do you need to pay back to break even?

Just think how much you can win!

Then find directions to your nearest Ferrari dealership or Hermès store.

Step 9: Do not set a stop loss. This is for losers.

You are a winner. You win in everything. All you do is win. Just like DJ Khaled.

Stop loss is for losers.

Even if your trade is in the red right now and losing, you know it will turn around eventually. Unlike everyone else, all your trades always end up winning.

Don’t worry about your trade flashing red on the screen. Just like age is just a number, red is just a color.

Step 10: Make trades based on your emotions.

No need for logic, just rely on your ever-reliable emotions.

When you’re excited and feeling greedy, you buy. When you are afraid, you panic and sell.

Emotional trading is how you will accumulate winning trades after winning trades. At least that’s how you feel.

Last tips

Complete as many steps as possible.

Pretty soon you’ll see that big fat zero under the account balance you’ve always dreamed of.

If you’re lucky, you might even see a negative balance.

If you are really impatient and want to even lose money fasterfeel free to vigorously repeat any of the individual steps.

But if you want to AVOID destroying your trading account in 10 days or less, now you know what NOT to do.

Many traders made these mistakes when they first started trading.

Including myself.

I hope you don’t follow in my footsteps.